toxic parents
1. You must take time to know yourself
Strip away your job title, social status, and any other external labels people often associate themselves with…
Who the hell is [insert your name] and what do you stand for?
Being able to answer these questions can change your life drastically.
Various studies suggest self-aware people are more confident and creative.
They also make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively.
Other studies reveal that when you know who you are, you’re much less likely to lie, cheat, and steal because what’s the point?
You’re not trying to please anyone, so you’re less stressed about what people think of you — if that means you have to hurt a few people’s feelings from time to time, then it’s for the best.
Knowing who you are is the secret to finding purpose and meaning.
The best way to start your journey of self-discovery is to start journaling.
In your journal, examine your thoughts, reactions, and actions.
Try to get to the root of why you do what you do.
Slowly but surely, a clearer image of yourself will form in your mind.
Strip away everything that doesn’t serve you and double down on the things that make you a better person.
Companion Blog: 20 of The Most Powerful Affirmations Of All Time
2. Always measure backward
The number one cause of failure is giving up.
Why do people give up?
Because their eyes are set on how far they still have to go instead of how far they have come.
Your criteria for success determine your mood as you pursue your goal.
If you’re measuring yourself against what you’re yet to achieve, you’ll constantly feel miserable because you’ve shifted happiness to some later date when you’ve achieved what you’re pursuing.
The problem is that there will always be more to pursue, so you’ll never find peace.
In the words of Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan in the Book The Gap and The Gain, “When you’re chasing happiness externally, it’s because you’re disconnected internally. And when you’re disconnected internally, then you’re trying to fill a GAP.”
The true way to create happiness is to measure yourself against where you started or where you were in the past.
This allows you to see progress, which serves as a motivational push to make you seek more progress.
Put more weight on what you’ve done. Acknowledge the progress you’ve made and keep pressing on.
. . .
. . .Plan Forward Measure Backward
By Kristine Oller
3. The best moment exists in the present
Life is bustling with activities.
If it’s not deadlines, it’s digital distracts getting in the way.
It’s easier than ever to lose sight of the present moment, but you can’t let this happen…
There’s no better moment than the one that exists right now.
The more disconnected you are from the present moment, the more miserable you’ll be.
Being in the present is about immersing yourself fully in your experiences.
Various studies have shown that being fully engaged with the present moment has profound effects on your mental health.
For example, it reduces anxiety, lowers stress, and can help combat depression.
Living in the present teaches you to acknowledge your emotions as they occur in real time.
As a result, you’re less overwhelmed by them and grow to be more resilient.
Put your phone away when you’re chatting with friends and family.
Stop dwelling on the past and dreaming about the future.
There’s no better time than now.
4. Patience and persistence are a virtue
You need patience because growth takes time.
You also need persistence because the road won’t always be smooth sailing.
You can’t have one without the other.
For example, if you have patience but no persistence, you never make progress. If you have persistence without patience, you eventually burn out.
These two virtues work hand in hand — develop both if you wanna go far.
5. Luck can be engineered
People understate luck’s role in success.
The most successful people know they’re where they are because of the cards life dealt them.
For example, Warren Buffett once alluded to the fact he won the ovarian lottery because he’s a white male born in America in 1930.
Excellent Advice for Living
Wisdom I Wish I’d Known Earlier
By Kevin Kelly
He said, “I had all kinds of luck… I’ve had it so good in this world, you know. The odds were 50-to-one against me being born in the United States in 1930.”
That kind of luck is not in your control.
The luck you can control is known as luck from motion.
This is when you create more opportunities through the hustle and energy you insert into an ecosystem.
What do you think will happen if someone writes and publishes blog posts daily?
They increase the odds of:
Writing something that goes extremely viral
Landing a book deal
Attracting freelance opportunities
Getting podcast opportunities that skyrocket their exposure
etc.
This is why Seneca famously said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
TLDR: He’s telling you to stay prepared.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to never stop sowing seeds.
Constantly make deposits into your future so that when you arrive there, you’re better off than you are now.
10 Truths About Life to Kick Start Your New Year By Angel Chernoff
6. You can’t impress everyone — don’t try
You will be polarizing to some people no matter what.
Deal with it!
People who try to please everyone do it at the cost of their own needs and wants.
This makes them miserable.
When you try to please everyone else, you can’t live authentically, which means you can’t move with purpose or intent.
As a result, everything you do will be unfulfilling.
Note this isn’t a charge to be an asshole…
It just means you should embrace what you like.
The other day, I saw a girl get upset with a guy who told her he doesn’t date black women.
I think it burned her more for three reasons: 1) he’s black too, 2) it means she’s disqualified, and 3) she really likes him.
She couldn’t understand that this was just him being true to himself.
If that man didn’t like black women but dated them to appease them, he wouldn’t be happy and would probably do some bad things to offset the unfulfillment he felt in his spirit.
I actually witnessed something like this when I was in church…
There was a guy who was gay but loved God.
He was told he couldn’t be a Christian if he’s gay because God doesn’t like that.
What did he do? He married a lady and had 5 kids with her to show everyone “He’s been cured.”
Behind everyone’s back, he was having affairs with other men he met in church.
It’s better to be polarizing than to lie to yourself.
You can’t please everyone, so don’t bother trying.
Stay true to what you like.
7. The most successful people are great listeners
There’s a popular Bible verse from the book of Matthew that states, “The greatest among you will be your servant.”
I hate to bash you with religion, so let’s forget about the factuality of the event and focus on the principles…
What Jesus was getting at here is that greatness requires service.
In other words, you can’t be great if you don’t sacrifice your life to make the lives of others better.
This is why successful people strive to be great listeners…
Jeff Bezos says it all the time, “We’re not competitor obsessed, we’re customer obsessed. We start with what the customer needs and we work backward.”
He’s teaching you (and I) to reap greatly from the law of service.
A prerequisite of this law is listening skills.
If you don’t listen, you don’t understand.
If you don’t understand, you can’t make the lives of others better.
Strive to become a master listener.
It wouldn’t only enhance your ability to understand; it would also make speaking with you a more enjoyable experience.
Final thoughts
None of us have lived before, hence why it’s vital we learn from those who’ve come before us.
This can make your existence more peaceful and streamline your growth.
Some of the most underrated yet valuable advice you should heed includes:
1. You must take time to know yourself
2. Always measure backward
3. The best moment exists in the present
4. Patience and persistence are a virtue
5. Luck can be engineered
6. You can’t impress everyone — don’t try
7. The most successful people are great listeners
Embracing these would put you ahead of most of the population.
Thanks for reading!
Kurtis
Source: medium.com
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