We Have A Manchild Problem
And Itās Scaring Everyone
By Ossiana Tepfenhart
Dave called my husband and I, on the verge of going on a full-fury drive of rage to his ex-boyfriend Jamesās house. We were, to a point, waiting on this call because James was already problematic. However, even we were shocked at how bad it got.
You see, itās hard to actually anger Dave. Dave is a stoic type of man. He doesnāt really shake easy. He is an old soul who has seen his fair amount of crap. During the day, he works a solid āJoe Everymanā job to pay the bills.
Heās an adult in every meaning of the word. He pays his bills and his taxes. He takes care of his son. When thereās an issue with his house, he whips out his tool belt and fixes it.
James is his childhood friend, and heās the polar opposite of Dave. James is the same age as Dave, but has never held a job for longer than six months. He still lives with his parents, whom he doesnāt help. He doesnāt do chores.
He has no responsibilities and throws a fit any time people try to get him to pitch in. When he does get a paycheck, he spends several hundred dollars of it on cannabis.
He also tends to pressure people for sex, including Dave.
Dave tried tirelessly to get James to grow up. It didnāt work. Eventually, things tore after Dave got lectured by James about being immature.
James lost it and dumped him. Since then, James has been badmouthing Dave with claims of abuse.
His crime? Telling him to get a job and telling him that he doesnāt want to pick up after James.
Dave lost his shit when he found out the rumors about him. And thatās where our story leads us.
While talking Dave down from the edge of calling James out publicly, he said something striking.
Dave is a gay man, though many acquaintances would never guess it because of his rugged looks and mannerisms. This is very important because I was not expecting this to come out of a man.
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And Dave said, āIām 26 years old. Iām too damn tired and Iām too damn scared of men these days. I donāt trust that they like me for me. I always think theyāre there for my money, my house, or just using me for sex. Itās as if Iām just a means to an end for them, and all I want is a partner.ā
My jaw dropped. So, this wasnāt just a matter of cishet men. Itās a trend affecting heterosexual men of all sexualities in their 20s. And itās getting worse by the day.
This is a deeply gendered issue.
Statistically speaking, women are killing it right now. They are more likely to go toĀ college and graduateĀ than men. They are also one of the fastest-growing demographics of business owners.
Men, however, have been floundering. Theyāve been dropping out of the workforce, dropping out of college, and also being increasingly likely to be radicalized. The vast majority ofĀ NEETsĀ are young men.
In the past, Iāve written about how many men rely on women for their social lives, emotional labor, and social status. Iāve also written about how many men justĀ donāt even show up to a damn date they manage to score.
Men are increasingly unwilling to work on themselves, better their lives, or even take a chance on relationships. Yet, theyāre increasingly audacious in their demands of the potential sex partners around them.
My people, weāre witnessing the growth of Generation Manchild.
Hikikomori – The Anti-social Isolation Epidemic Plaguing Our Youth
The problems of being a manchild are manifold.
Having seen people who have had arrested development in their lives, Iāve seen what happens when you finally have to be an adult without any practice before. Itās awful.
People who are stuck in āKidult Modeā have a lot of problems that will get worse with age, including:
Foul work records.Ā Good luck trying to get a good job when your history shows you in low-effort, low-paying roles for six months at a time, max. Starting a business is not easy, either. If youāre relying on a business to make ends meet without having experience in that field, youāre going to have a very bad time.
Bad financial decisions.Ā If I had a dollar for every kidult (or manchild) that spent a fortune on a credit card because it was āfree money,ā I wouldnāt have had to declare bankruptcy.
Mooching.Ā Hobosexuals are not sexy and women are getting tired of it. We all know that no one falls in love faster than a homeless guy who spots a homeowner.
Poor social skills.Ā Unsurprisingly, manchildren donāt tend to stay in relationships for very long. Theyāre often intolerable.
Low emotional intelligence. As a person whoās dated manchildren, I can attest that most of these guys donāt even know what they want. A lot of them want mommy-bangmaid hybrids that are social status-worthy. The problem is, they balk when they realize they have to bring something to the table.
Social isolation.Ā The more you fall behind others in maturity, the lonelier you will become. Healthy, functional adults donāt want to hang out with overgrown kids.
Poor mental health.Ā This is often a āchicken and eggā thing. Are they failures to launch because of their mental health, or is their failure to launch affecting their mental health? Itās hard to tell.
Of course, they also hurt those who try to support them.
Manchildren do not care about anyone but themselves. They donāt want to give back. They donāt act as real partners to their dates, nor do they behave like good sons to their parents.
This is an issue that often has a narcissistic streak associated with it. So, you better believe that they tend to leave a trail of destruction in their wake ā especially to those who try to hold them accountable.
Dates should be particularly leery of the men who fail to launch. The more leeway people give these guys, the worse they seem to behave. Itās not unusual for these men to use people for money or randomly abandon partners.
And if youāre a woman, be extremely careful around manchildren. They often become more abusive the more you bend over backward to please them. Itās almost as if they want to break women to prove a point.
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On a societal level, the growing number of manchildren has dire consequences.
What happens when you have a growing number of people unwilling to work jobs, provide for themselves, or even be halfway decent dates? Well, not good things, thatās for sure.
Poverty
A large portion of Gen Z men will likely have to rely on welfare programs in the future, simply because theyāre not going to be able to find jobs willing to hire them.
As their enablers vanish, so will their ability to financially recover. Itās much easier to recover from a financial disaster at 20 than it is at 50. Yet, a growing number of men will only start to look after themselves after their parents die, giving them nothing to fall back on.
Manchildren also wonāt be able to find partners willing to tolerate acting as parents for them. People are increasingly aware of the rise of moocher men. This means their senior years will likely be spent in tent cities, welfare housing, or couch surfing.
Mental Illness
Another major issue that comes with arrested development is worsening mental illness. Itās a depressing way to live, and many manchildren have personality disorders that worsen due to enabling.
That combination leads to social isolation.
As more men drop out of society, they lose the benefits that come from being part of an uplifting community. This could easily lead to a rise in suicide as well as drug addiction. Speaking of whichā¦
Crime
There is a very distinct link between being a manchild and being an incel. In many cases, theyāre one and the same. Incels have been linked to mass murders, rapes, and domestic violence.
When you pair that with poverty and a likely spike in drug addiction, the writingās on the wall. The manchildren of today will likely become the jailbirds of tomorrow.
Radicalization
Iāll keep this short: thereās a reason whyĀ misogyny and loser menĀ go hand in hand. Itās because seeing women achieve when they fail burns them up. Bad actors use misogyny as a way to gain more money and power.
Bad actors target Manchildren because theyāre the easiest marks out there.
Weāre already seeing many men with arrested development get radicalized by Red Pill influencers. Red Pillers tend to encourage manchildren to avoid meaningful self-improvement and self-reflection. This creates a feedback loop that makes them increasingly hopeless about the future.
Iāve already heard a bunch of men blame women for their lack of success. Red Pill radicals encourage them to think that way ā and often encourage them to avoid self-reflection on how their actions hurt others. As the 2024 election showed, this has serious political implications.
Coddling Generation Manchild is not the answer.
Every single manchild Iāve ever met was coddled, babied, and enabled by his parents ā most often his mom or wife. Every manchild Iāve ever met also somehow painted himself as a victim, especially when people called him out on his shit.
This is an effect of bad parenting, full stop. Itās what happens when parents donāt discipline their sons and keep tiptoeing around them. All this does is kick the can down the road, worsening the outcome.
The best thing that one can do for a member of Generation Manchild is to let them hit rock bottom as soon as they can. Kick them out of the house. Cut off their internet and phone use unless itās to get a job. Hold them accountable when they do something hurtful to others.
If it seems harsh, thatās because it is. There are times when you have to be cruel to be kind, and this is one of them. Nothing is more humbling than being forced to hit the real world and deal with consequences. And nothing will make you get your shit together faster than having life hit you in the balls.
Who knows? Maybe theyāll gain a little empathy along the way.
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Source: medium.com
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Men, however, have been floundering. Theyāve been dropping out of the workforce, dropping out of college, and also being increasingly likely to be radicalized. The vast majority ofĀ 

Bad actors target Manchildren because theyāre the easiest marks out there.


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