9 Ways To Become the New You by Being the Real You by Paul Long
toxic parents
The obvious but elusive way to have the life you want.
Itās one of those critical solutions in life thatās right in front of your nose. New you
You even know about it.
Yet, maybe you donāt embrace it or know what to do with it.
If so, you are not alone because this is one of the biggest misses we make as humans.
Itās what you need to change yourself, change your life or find a New Way Forward thatās perfect for you.
Hereās what it is.
To have something new thatās right for you, you must be the true you.
All too often we seek to change something in our life with the same thoughts and old or false beliefs that got us in this mess in the first place.
This means you will end up making a big change that doesnāt work for you, which then leads to making another changeā¦and anotherā¦and anotherā¦and anotherā¦for the rest of your life.
Thereās a better way and it makes so much sense.
Make the new you the true you.
Youāve got this because youāve got the true you. You gotta let it out of the basement.
It seems so simple, yet I figure youāre wondering āHow do I do that? How can I be sure am being the real me?ā
Or āHow do I discover the true me?ā
Keep reading for answers.
Resign from the club
You are a part of a club with billions of members.
How can we not help but be someone we truly arenāt when we suffer the onslaught of expectations and pressure from others telling us howĀ theyĀ think we should be?
All of our life all of the time.
Parents, society, friends, significant others, the establishment and marketing bombard us and brainwash us with standards based onĀ theirĀ agendas, not the agenda created by the true you.
Following the agendas of others leads to being unhappy and miserable and you may not realize why you feel this way.
Hereās the why: Youāre unhappy because the way youāre ābeingā is not true to who you really are.
By Katy Milkman
It affects all levels and parts of your life
We always live up to our standards and our standards are based on our values.
This is an immutable fact.
But ask yourself, whose values? Whose standards?
Especially in childhood we fully accept the way our parents act and what they say to us even if they arenāt true about us.
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Then the marketers, friends, society and the establishment dump their agendas on us.
We develop false beliefs from all that.
These beliefs drive our decisions and then our actions which leads to results and habits that arenāt aligned with our true selves.
These false beliefs become self-fulfilling.
This leads you to the life you have right now.
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What itās like to change to the real you
I was in an unhappy and dissatisfied place.
If you knew me in the life I had years ago you would have thought me crazy to want to change it.
But it didnāt feel true to me, therefore I wasnāt satisfied. It just wasnāt right for me in many ways.
At this time I was also looking toward my olderhood wondering what I was going to do with the potential of decades of healthy, active and relevant life ahead.
I started making the requisite lists of what I could do based on my experience, talent and skills.
Then it hit me.
Thatās the very same approach that got me into this situation in the first place.
I had only thought about what I could do which of course matched the external expectations, values and standards of others I previously mentioned.
Boom! The right answer was right in front of me and I was ignoring it.
āWhat I āshouldā do must be based on who I truly am and what I truly need and want in my life and who I want to be.
āI need to be true to myselfā.
What itās like to change to the real you
I was in an unhappy and dissatisfied place.
If you knew me in the life I had years ago you would have thought me crazy to want to change it.
But it didnāt feel true to me, therefore I wasnāt satisfied. It just wasnāt right for me in many ways.
At this time I was also looking toward my olderhood wondering what I was going to do with the potential of decades of healthy, active and relevant life ahead.
I started making the requisite lists of what IĀ couldĀ do based on my experience, talent and skills.
Then it hit me.
Thatās the very same approach that got me into this situation in the first place.
I had only thought about what IĀ couldĀ do which of course matched the external expectations, values and standards of others I previously mentioned.
Boom! The right answer was right in front of me and I was ignoring it.
āWhat IĀ āshouldāĀ do must be based on who I truly am and what I truly need and want in my life and who I want to be.
āI need to be true to myselfā.
This was my launch moment. 5ā4ā3ā2ā1 LIFTOFF!!! to a new way forward in my life which turned into me launchingĀ New Way ForwardĀ to help people do the same thing.
With New Way Forward I share how to change your life (or a major part of it) to something that is perfectly aligned with and based onĀ who you truly are.
Wow. What a concept (winking emoji of facetiousness).
If I can do it, anyone can do it.
I changed the way I looked at things and the things I looked at changedā¦for the better.
This was my launch moment. 5ā4ā3ā2ā1 LIFTOFF!!! to a new way forward in my life which turned into me launching New Way Forward to help people do the same thing.
With New Way Forward I share how to change your life (or a major part of it) to something that is perfectly aligned with and based on who you truly are.
Wow. What a concept (winking emoji of facetiousness).
If I can do it, anyone can do it.
I changed the way I looked at things and the things I looked at changedā¦for the better.
How to be true to the true you
Here are questions, thoughts and challenges to help you blast past the B.S. to set the true you free.
But first some very important tips.
You gotta journal as you go through this process.
Writing out your thoughts, ideas and realizations by hand helps your mind slow down, think deeper and the action of handwriting etches it all into your brain.
Plus, you will want to go back and reread, edit or add to some of what you wrote.
Journal for a few minutes first thing in the morning (before any screen time) and again before bedtime.
(Cāmon, you can do a few minutes of this each day. The Return on Investment is huge).
Also, when you answer these questions, note how you feel. Physically and emotionally. Write those feelings down too. āGut feelingsā are accurate tell-tales of whatās really going in with your true self.
Ohā¦by the way, some of your answers will seem to be absurdly obvious. Write them down and add your feelings about them anyway.
Often, we miss or dismiss the obvious even though is a key truth.
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What makes you feel good? What makes you feel bad? (This will be a long list and you will probably keep adding to it for days or weeks).
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What are your values? What parts of life and living do you hold in the highest regard? What values do you believe cannot be violated?
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What are your current standards that you are living up to?
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Are those standards high enough to give you what you want or need? If not, then what are those new standards?
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What do you think has been holding you back or will hold you back?
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What beliefs do you have about yourself, life or the world that limits you? Think about where that belief first came from. Is it true for you now or ever?
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What beliefs about yourself, life and the world do you really want to have? What beliefsĀ feelĀ right to you intellectually, emotionally and in your gut?
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On the left side of a piece of paper make a vertical list of the old, untrue and true beliefs, values and standards. On the right what your new ones are (some will be the same as the left side). Note the comparisons.
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Write a thank you note to your current self from your 95-year-old self.
Thanking your currentĀ trueĀ self for all you will now do
This is thinking from the endā¦big time.
Imagine how you want to feel about your life when youāre that age (or pick another, say 105).
When I did this, I thanked the current me for the healthy, active, relevant, purposeful, profitable and fulfilling years of life that I am passionate and proud of all because of what the current me did starting today.
Iām still living that life on the day I wrote the letter at age 95.
What you do want to be grateful, fulfilled, passionate and joyous about in the intervening years?
What kind of results, experiences, lifestyle situations and legacies do you want?
Then what will your 95-year-old self thank you for doing today and tomorrow to make that all happen?
Keep it very fundamental, (regrettably, stock tips arenāt possible).
Iāve written several of these. As I progress forward, new thoughts and desires avail and define themselves. I write them down in a new letter. Itās a very cool thing.
Youāve got this
There. You, see?
All of these insights, revelations and truths will have come from youā¦for you and only you.
You had the answer all the time. It was right in front of your nose, in your head and in your heart.
You will now connect with it, embrace it and use it.
You will thank yourselfā¦every dayā¦for the rest of your days.
Have a nice life!
Source:Ā medium.com
āNow What?ā I knew there was more to life and more in me. I sought a New Way Forward. Hereās what I learned and how I did it. www.NewWayFWD.com
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