Chronic negativity can literally kill you and this has been proven scientifically. Drama queens can destroy your life. We guess that each of us has probably had a toxic colleague or a friend who always sucks our energy. toxic people
We usually start feeling exhausted around these people. But there are more things that toxic people do that will help us recognize them.
1. Manipulation and control
Toxic manipulative people are actually not interested in you or your feelings. They just use this “weapon” to control you so you can become a part of their plans.
There can be several ways of doing this and you might not even recognize the manipulation:
Twisting what you said
Making you feel like you are crazy
Playing the victim
Behaving aggressively and forcing you to defend yourself
Threatening you
2. Not apologizing
No matter what a toxic person does, it is not their fault. It is so hard for them to deal with this. They will often start arguing and trying to protect themselves rather than say they’re sorry.
The reasons for why they can’t accept their own faults can be many:
Apologies could represent a threat to their self-esteem
Shame, for toxic people, is unbearable
They don’t want to take responsibility for their actions
They prefer to feel anger and aggression to feeling something positive
3. Projecting their feelings on you
It could be a lady in a crowd who thought that you were laughing at her while it was absolutely for a different innocent reason. Even if it has nothing to do with you, a toxic person will still try to involve you somehow and make you feel uncomfortable because of negative thinking.
When it comes to toxic people:
If you don’t know a person, just stay away from them.
If it is your close friend, try to show appreciation but, make sure the other person listens and really understands how sincere it is.
4. Coming out of the blue
There is the example of when you get so tired of a person, that you can’t even control your irritation and ask what happened again. But nothing happened. They just created a negative situation in their head by themselves and now want to suck your energy.
It is better to:
Not get involved in arguments
Not listen or defend yourself
Not need to be right
For more about this subject, look inside:
How to Deal with Toxic, Irrational and Difficult People in Your Life
by Neil Iton
ore about this subject, look inside:5. Calling and crying
Yes, we all sometimes have bad days, but when it becomes a habit, it is toxic. Calling every day or every week and complaining about everything can make anyone crazy. In this case:
Set boundaries and don’t spend time with a toxic person.
Don’t rationalize and try to explain why a person is always negative.
Look for a more positive influence and get closer to more positive people.
6. They don’t accept “No.”
Toxic people literally make you feel scared to say no. They ask you for something and if you refuse, they start to manipulate you to get the answer that they want. This happens because toxic people don’t understand that other people also have boundaries.
This happens because toxic people don’t understand that other people also have boundaries.Saying “No” is normal, especially when you know that you can’t keep a promise.
Saying “No” shouldn’t make you feel guilty if you know that it is the right decision.
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7. Your success is always a torture for them.
Once in our lifetimes, each of us has probably met a person who becomes pale in the face when they find out about our success. It can be a friend or a relative. And it hurts. You want to share the joy with them, but instead, you get a sour expression.
What to do in this case:
What to If your friend or relative is toxic, it is better to minimize contact with them.
Only you can decide how close you want to be with this toxic person.
Do you know effective ways for how to deal with toxic people? Do you think it is a feature that is possible to fix? Please, share your stories below!
Source: brightside.me
Not all people have the drive to apologize if they are at fault. Sometimes you need to make them realize that they have done something wrong. Some people think that what they do or act is of good ethics but most of the time it is subjective.
Everybody doesn’t have the ability to apologise in case they have some fault. You have to make them aware that they have done something bad.
Shane – Apologies mean admitting fault. The ego will control that outcome with fierce determination. Stepping outside yourself and looking in is the only way to gain the perspective to reach properly.
I have never thought toxic people do cry openly though I caught one crying in his closet a while ago. But about control, want to always be heard,never apologetic etc, they are very good at it. The funny thing is we have a large number of them out in the world.
Toxic people will resort to any tactic to get what they want. What’s important is that you react appropriately when you recognize such behavior and not feed into the act.
These type of people are not worthy of my trust or anyone’s trust. They might messed up and blame it unto others. We need to accept our indivual flaws.
Personal responsibility cures many ills.
Toxic people can be a very bad influence for the others, however knowing their attitude and getting to understand their motivation kinda helps. At least it helped me understand that their perception about me is not necesarily realistic and I don’t need to give it extra attention.
Their habits will wear off on you if you’re not careful.
Playing victim is a bad habit, saying it’s not my fault is never an excuse to exit to your wrong doing. When you did something wrong then stop blaming others with what you did. Suffer with the consequences and learn from it, never destroy someone’s trust by doing so.
Playing the victim is a big part of avoidance. The healing can only begin once we take responsibility and action to change for the good.
Seriously they are control freaks, projecting their feelings on you always, they never see what’s wrong in their attitude. I now know how to get cope with toxic people without much issue. Thanks for sharing this great piece
Well said, Prince.
In fact, those types of persomas hold a lot of resentment. These people have many “enemies” or enmities, their biggest hobby is to speak ill of others and they are excited to join you and make negative comments about the same people they attack. It is not healthy to have friendships based on viciousness and injury, do not participate in these conversations and let them know that they bother you.
Very true, Jose. And, their resentment is corrosive to all who interact with them. Stay away at all cost.
I have quite a few toxic people in my life. I guess it’s time to clean house.
Get the broom out and begin sweeping them away!
Toxic people have a way of draining someone that can really affect them. They should be avoided like the plague.
They are exhausting! They will fatigue you into submission.
I am so glad I found this article. The toxic people in my life might be the reason I may not be doing well.
It’s truer than you think, Patricia.
I totally agree with the point that your success is torture for toxic people. On more than a few occasions I have been able to witness this.
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Wow, this article is so insightful and hits the nail on the head. I am on a mission to identify the toxic people in my life
Daphne – You will improve the quality of your life if you do identify and avoid them.
People who don’t accept ‘No’ for an answer are the absolute worst. They are emotional manipulators.
So true. Unfortunately, there are many people who do not have the word “no” in their vocabulary. Steer clear of those people.
After reading this article extensively, I have to admit that I do have some toxic tendencies myself. I am embarking on a journey to be a much better person.
Wow, Louis, that is very self-aware of you. I’m impressed.
This analysis of toxic people has to be the most insightful one I have ever read. I have learnt a ton of stuff I never knew about. I can’t thank you enough for the write-up.
You are welcome, Shantel. Be sure to steer clear of toxic people who find a way into your life!
Manipulation and control is the number one attribute of toxic people. It also happens to be the most easily spotted.
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I am interested in Neil Iton’s book on Toxic People. I have to get it for myself. Much thanks for sharing dear.
Storm – You can look inside Neil’s book, Toxic People.The Rules of the Game here: https://amzn.to/37jl7Wd
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These are some good book recommendations bundled with this article. People really should check them out.
Sylvia – Check these out: https://yourinspirationnation.com/books