Then many things will change with time, your opinions, your environment, your family, your friends, but your core value, your one word doesn’t change if you’re still having a hard time finding your constant. Think back to your parents. There’s a reason psychologists ask their patients to talk about their relationship with their parents. Now I’m no psychologist, but I have found fairly consistently that someone’s one word often has roots back in their childhood and with their parents. Quite often the core values you have today come from your parents. They shaped the way you see the world, how you should treat others and what you consider good and bad behavior. If your mother was carrying and she might have taught you to care for others care. If your father was resourceful, he might have instilled resourcefulness in you.

Resourceful. The opposite can also be true. You might have seen something in your parents that you never want to embody, so you take on the opposite of their values. If your mother had a gambling problem and constantly risks, every paycheck she earned, you might seek the opposite of risk security. If your father ran out on you when you are young and was never there for you growing up, you might crave the opposite of unreliable, dependable. Spending a few minutes thinking about your parents and the mark they left on you could reveal the answer to finding your one word. You can build a life and business around security or dependable, just as much as you can around belief care or resourceful. You’re parents impacted you in positive and negative ways. Having an awareness of their impact can set you up for future success.

What you might ask if my one word is money, it’s not. If you think it is, you just haven’t found out what truly makes you come alive. Now, don’t get me wrong. Money is great. Money lets us do amazing things. We need to make money to stay alive and the more money we make, the more we can build. But understand this money is a tool, not a core value. It can help take you where you want to go, but it’s not the driver. There is always something deeper behind the need for money and until you figure that out, you’ll always limit yourself. Money comes from providing value. If people aren’t willing to pay you for what you’re doing, you’re not giving them enough value. On the flip side, the way to make a lot of money quickly is to provide a lot of value quickly.

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Why do you love money so much? Say your dream is to make enough money in the next year to travel around the world. What you’re really seeking isn’t money. It’s adventure experiences or excitement. What most people do is set a money goal then try to figure out the fastest way to reach that money goal they take on business opportunities that they aren’t excited about because it promises to move them closer to their money goal. They tell themselves they don’t care what they do within reason as long as it brings in the money because that’s their real goal. They say it doesn’t matter, but it does matter. Money comes from giving value and if you don’t have the love for your business and you won’t put in the crazy work that’s needed to provide that value, you’ll quit as soon as it starts getting hard and the idea of working hard at something you don’t like just so that you can live the life you want at some point in the future is crazy to me.

Start living that life now saying that money is your one word is a crutch. You just haven’t dug deep enough inside yourself to discover who you really are. For all of this to work, you have to be brutally honest and real with yourself. This isn’t about who you should be or hope to be. It’s not about what your family wants you to be or what your culture tells you to be. It’s about who you really are and leveraging that to build a purposeful and happy life for yourself. It’s about living your version of your life and following your dreams, not theirs. If you keep living in a world where you can’t be yourself and you’re constantly striving for this ideal life of someone who isn’t who you actually are, you’ll never be fulfilled. You don’t have to be ashamed or afraid of your one word. It’s who you are and it will guide you for the rest of your life. Look at your one word and ask yourself, is this really deep down who I am? If your answer is yes, you’re ready to move on to build something awesome. If you answer no, go back and try the exercises again. Sleep on it, reflect on it in the shower. Go for a walk in, think about it. Meditate on it.

John Paul Dejoria, his parents divorced when he was two when he was nine he sold newspapers and Christmas cards door to door to help his family when his single mother wasn’t able to support him anymore. He was sent to live in a foster home in Los Angeles where he joined the gang and we’re his high school math teacher told him he would never succeed at anything in life. His later jobs included being a janitor and an insurance salesman. Today he’s a billionaire.